Am I here?... a poem by Veronica Farmer

Am I here?
Yes...
I think so

Now my body has woken
out of its trauma
its stupification
deer in the headlights
watching
and waiting
shallow breathing
hoping not to be seen
eyes wide

I now feel expanded
alive
raw
fierce
and free

This blood moon
has shown me my world in my hands
Inspired me to speak all my fears
and my truth
and finally smash away
the invisible shackles on wrists and ankles
the red raw grazes must go

I am fast to heal
I am dancing already
My hands and fingers can now ride the wind  
like an oriental dancer
free
to be my own gentle soul
without apology

Although my heart hammers
I know I will say the words
I will ask
for a playful expression
To dance honestly, lightly
​Laughter and soft touch

I don't think it matters
the response or the timing...
My joy is created within my own heart
in seeing life and its beauty all around me

What is real to me now 
is the readiness
to swim inside
feel and say All The Things
Be vulnerable
let the protective armour drop from my body
and my
languid fingers

I have been given a gift
I have seen myself
I have seen what cannot stay

I cannot continue to hold
and hold
without receiving back into my own body
To live without passion
books
or play
is a life half lived

It must be now
It must be the time 
to bathe in my soul's golden light
a halo of warmth
around my face
my heart's smile
freedom

Time for joy
mind, body and soul
All the colours around me
exploding into vibrant light

All Rights reserved Veronica Farmer 2015
Also see www.veronicafarmer.org for more of Veronica's writing...