I have noticed
that when I get close
to naming the energy
that holds pain in place
that resists expansion
in comes 
The Kick..

Yet, I am made to find it
the knee jerk
sitting just below the skin
the carefully folded fears
laying behind the eyebrows
to tease them out

Sometimes I can feel the "Stop!"
Just before it happens
When I ask that question
the question that hurts
and heals
or show too much raw heart...

It's a lonely business sometimes
this ninja game
of swordplay with distress and quiet rage
When it is named and cleared, freedom arrives
But the risk is The Kick
when I get too close

I can't stop though
I won't 
even though you run
even though you won't walk higher 
and see in the mirror the powerful Lion I know you to be

I have to keep going
be who I am
leave you with a tender smile

I would have liked to have helped you
flush out the fears
And released mine too
So you could know your beautiful vulnerable heart
to be as wide as the night sky
a roar
and a smile
under the cracked glass

The Kick
is an interrupt 
It's why you found me
and why you pull away

All Rights reserved Veronica Farmer 2015
Also see www.veronicafarmer.org

I used to dream
of being in a speeding car
with no brakes
I would awake heart pumping
not knowing what it meant
To be this out of control

The fear of going too fast
of not being able to stop
of being caught speeding
so deeply uncomfortable

So, I tried something else

I sped up
Smiled and put my foot down
and found that I could hug the corners
and move around cars easily
with a smile on my face

It felt more powerful 
to drive this way in my dream

Life is like that
We hold our heart too tight
Afraid of going too far, too fast
In case we do the "wrong" thing...

Forget wrong
Forget right
Just do the thing you are made to
Go at the speed of You
Fly if it pleases you
Zoom around corners
Pop the top 
and let your hair fly in the wind

Let your heart free
Free from control
rules and regulations
Let it play 
Let it dance
At the speed of the wind


All Rights Reserved Veronica Farmer 2015
www.veronicafarmer.org for Veronica's blogs

Why do we forget?
The child within
who cartwheels
and giggles
choosing instead
the serious face
the hard edges
the watching...

At what point does it happen
when does our easy trust of others leave?
When do we lay down the spontaneous laughter
the jumping up and down 
the "I know! I know!"
and Just 
Grow.
Up.

I am choosing to 
Grow down
Where the wise ones are
Where presence
and joy
and play 
exist.

Where you can grab a friend's face
and kiss it
Fall against a shoulder
without it meaning anything
other than simple love in the moment
and it's ok
It's more than ok

Imagine the freedom 
of letting all the words tumble out
freely
without thought

I like this idea
of childlike innocence
but keeping the knowing
and the power of creating
as an adult
here and now

To see others too
drop their attachment to drama
appropriateness
and cords of pain
to reconnect to their playfulness
and trust once more

This would bring more happiness
to shrug off the weight of the
should not's and could not's
and just be
free...

All Rights Reserved Veronica Farmer 2015
Also see www.veronicafarmer.org 

Stories screw up the end 
of relationships
and our hearts

The stories we tell ourselves and others
about why it ended
about why it hurt
about the grief, pain and loss
needs unmet

These stories create a grey wall of sludge 
in our hearts 
that colour the love
we once had
the love 
that is still there
under it all

What if we laid down all stories
in our book of love
and instead saw evolving love
a spectrum of colour
that grew past desire
and moist emeshed limbs
to gentle compassion
and kindness
from afar

What if we didn't have to make
someone wrong
or right...
but just allowed
shift and transformation
gently
For shift we do
we all do...

Wouldn't that be more loving
and bring more gentleness 
to the wounded?
Create less casualties
less tears?

What if we simply kept our sense of humour
released perfection
and allowed
misshapen words
thoughts and actions
without the knee-jerk
and losing trust in love

A world without "ex'es"
More a collection of loved ones
like multicoloured crystals of various shapes
who you have been blessed, so honored to hold 
in your beautiful life

I think there would be more love in that
If we allowed people to be just who they are 
each day
anew
and 
Let Go gently
with a Namaste
and a gentle smile...


All Rights Reserved Veronica Farmer www.tlppoetry.com
Also see www.veronicafarmer.org

I have felt your approach
from the edges of my field of vision
Woken in the night with your breath in my ear
For sometime now
Like a train coming closer 
I see you

It lifts a growing roar in my chest
My shoulders ready
Legs planted in the Earth
To meet forehead to forehead if necessary
Two meteors colliding
I know you

We have battled side by side before
You and I
Throwing bolts across the sky
A circlet of gold upon my upper arm
A sword held white knuckled

Together we are Lion fierce and visionary
Too much the same molten source
for peaceful outcomes
So hungry to wake this world
But fierce is not the way this time
No matter how much we love it
Not now

I see you in your armour of old
You Great King
You are not used to sharing the throne
But you remember me.
The line of the Magdelene

You know who I am
and what I can do
What we can all do together
The miracles this world is waiting for

But I am not come to follow you blindly
Not this time
You must lay down the Patriarch
to see me.

There is danger for us 
in fueling this ancient fire
What will heal it is patience

So, I will shadowbox
and stand
Strong 
this time
Not follow my body 
where it would go
into the volcano 
Creating beauty and chaos

I must hold the energy between us
Wild fire in my shaking hands
calm my voice and my heart
To heal us both
Into sublime golden beauty
The true throne of Healing
for us all

I have my armour 
My sword held low in wait
Until you have learn to breathe...

All Rights Reserved Veronica Farmer 2015

There is only now
the breath
the view in front of me
there is peace in that

How can I keep this true?
When the words circling my brain
scream for comfort
for recognition
for viability

How can I keep this true?
When my heart is sore
and my arms ache from wrapping it

I know none of these words or feelings to be real
They are a simple gratification of martyring myself
yet again

They want a story to connect to
Someone to blame
or flee from

The kookaburra looking at me through the window smiles 
He cocks his head as if to say
"Really? Here again?
Come see me and know who you are"

I know
I know
I do remember
that I am
gentle Light
and great strength
under the garments of playing out
an acceptable life.

So...
No more fence sitting
I am done with the discomfort
I am done with being small

These words
Like an old scolding nun
can go
My body can be free
to dance
in its unique fashion

My heart can know who she is
wide and fierce
fully expressed
full without need 
expanded without fear
as wide as the night sky...

All Rights reserved Veronica Farmer 2015